A Letter to My Immune System

Dear Weakened Immune System,
Ever since I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease in 1999, I have gotten sick much more often that I ever used to. For the first few post-diagnosis years, you were understandably worn down and so I was sick almost every month with something or other. I tried to be patient with you and the fact that you were basically useless to me. I even kept a sense of humor and made jokes about leaving you in order to live in the plastic bubble with that boy. For years now, our relationship has been tumultuous at best. I do my part by frequently washing my hands and using hand sanitizers, but you refuse to protect me from even the most basic "bugs", let alone the big, bad ones. Let's face it- '99 was a long time ago and you have had plenty of opportunity to regain your strength and act like a proper immune system.
In April 2003, you allowed me to aquire an infection so severe that I thought maybe I had SARS. (You can laugh, but it wasn't that much of a stretch considering how I had been in an international airport two weeks prior to becoming deathly ill with a 104 fever, vomiting/dehydration, muscle soreness/weakness, and racking cough that ended with a trip to the ER). And my doctor thought it was a possibility too, and she treated me with the same medication they were using on SARS victims. Still, I didn't blame you since other immune systems were also experiencing a difficulty with SARS.
In 2005, it was a double fun year: in February I had what I now believe must have been some kind of pneumonia given the fact that when I laid down I felt like I was drowning and was unable to breath. Have you ever tried to remain completely upright when you are sick with a fever and chills? An immune system must have no idea how hard that would be. It got so bad that at one point I was unable to get a good breath and thought for sure I would die of asphyxiation. I called my doctor's office and though I was barely able to talk through the coughing fits I told her that I was having trouble breathing. You remember what that receptionist told me? That the doctor didn't have any appointment slots open and if I was that sick I should just go to the ER. Fortunately for you and unfortunately for her, my older sister works for that company and knew the office manager. A short while later I received a call from the physician herself to apologize for that person, and the office manager, who also apologized and gave me her beeper number for future use. You were very lucky that I got a priority appointment, some antibiotics, and some cough syrup with codeine.
Then in December of that same year I got sick with the flu during the holiday season. It lasted for nearly two weeks. Do you know of any other immune system that lets their host suffer like that? Do you?? I remember laying on my sister's couch feeling feverish and crappy while everyone else (and their functional immune systems) was baking cookies and listening to Christmas music.
This year you have once again slipped in your duties and I have been sick since Tuesday. I am snotty and coughing and achy. I have called off work the past two days and have pretty much laid around all day feeling crappy. I do not have my Christmas stuff done, but thanks to you I am too sick to do it. Although at this point it does not appear to be the Bird Flu, I am warning you that if you don't shape up a bit, I am not above leaving you once and for all. After all, that boy in the bubble has grown up to be quite a man in a bubble, and he is looking better and better compared to you.

Yours in ill health,
Laura