The review you've all been waiting for...

(See how excited I am to do this review for you guys?)


Ok, you know how I got satellite radio as a Christmas gift (thanks, Ann)? Well, I've now had a week to preview it and I would like to share my initial impressions. The first surprise is that although there are 125+ channels, I use surprisingly few of them. For example, you can subtract from that 125 the following 30:

Channels 66, 67, and 68 (Christian Hits, Christian Rock, and Gospel): Really just not my thing.
Channels 40,43,45,50,51,53 (Non-Stop Hip-Hop, Old Skool Rap, Hip Hop Hits, R&B Hits, and Classic Soul): I'm just not a very hippity hoppity sort of gal.
Channel 2 (Lite Pop): The only thing worse than bad pop is lite pop. And we're not talking soda here.
Channel 3 (Love Songs): I guess you can say that lately I'm not in the mood.
Channel 4 (Easy Listening): Anything worth listening to is worth listening hard to.
Channel 10 (Mellow Rock): Seems like an oxymoron to me- if it's truly rock, it wouldn't be mellow...
Channel 13 (Elvis Radio): I dunno, Elvis just doesn't ring my bells.
Channel 24 (Eclectic/Free Form): Call me conventional but I kind of spaz a little when there is a total lack of pattern/structure. I find that I get all nervous and my fingers dig into the steering wheel. So loose form, maybe. Free, definitely not.
Channel 27 (Heavy Metal): Really, can you even picture it?
Channel 33 (Trance/Progressive House): It really did get its name from beats and rythms developed to put the listener into a trance. It's not the 60's anymore folks- the market for LSD has dwindled. What's the use anymore? Now, anti-trance music I could see a market for...
Channel 63 (Outlaw Country): I kept all the other cuntry channels even though I'm not the biggest cuntry fan. (Lyle Lovett you are excused- I will always love you). But outlaw country? If you ask me, that's just pushing the envelope.
Channels 159, 160 (Christian Talk, Radio Catholic Network): Again, really just not my thing.
Channels 115, 116 (Radio Disney, Kids Music): Probably would keep if I had kids. I guess I could hold the receiver to my ovaries and play music to my eggs, but why tease them like that?
Channels 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127 (ESPN Radio, ESPN News, Sports Talk, Nonstop NFL Talk, Play-by-Play 1, Play-by Play 2, NBA Radio): No interest at all. Period. In fact, a major part of my recent breakup was because I always came AFTER any and all sports. So these channels don't even have a prayer with bitter, scorned me. You know how you can call Sirius and have certain channels completely removed? These will ALL be permanently cut. Boys, you can wince and howl all you want, but it will be done with glee, spite, malice, and one big ol' helping of self-serving satisfaction.

There are a bunch of channels I'm so-so on, far too many to even attempt to name.

Now for the channels I particularly like:
Channel 12 (Sirius Super Mix): It's like a box of fine chocolates- you never know what you're going to get, but you know it'll be good.
Channel 15 (Later Classic Rock): Call me new-fashioned, but the later stuff is just better.
Channel 26 (Indie/College Rock): Reminds me of the good old days...
Channel 30 (Acoustic Coffee House Music): Are you really surprised?
Channel 31 (Radio Margaritaville): Ever since my Florida Keys days, I've had a soft spot in my heart for Jimmy Buffett.
Channel 32 (Reggae): I can't explain it, I just love it.
Channel 74 (Blues): If freeform is the antichrist, then Blues is Christ himself. Stevie Ray Vaughn, by default then, would be God.
Channel 147 (Talk for Truckers): Guaranteed to produce laughs each and every time, in large part because it is not comedy.
Channel 146 (Liberal Talk): The world's smartest people are liberals, and liberals are the world's smartest people. See how beautiful that is?
Channels 100, 101 (Howard Stern, and Howard Stern II): My long-time, well-kept, dirty little secret is finally exposed- I thoroughly enjoy this show and I will not let this humiliate me any longer. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Channels 134, 135 (NPR Now, NPR Talk): What can I say? If I only could pick one station to listen to for the rest of my liberal life, it would be NPR. And one show within NPR? Car Talk. It's ridiculous how much I love that show. If anyone wants to send me a Car Talk T-shirt anonymously, I promise to wear it until it's in shreds. I'll even post it on this website. Send to: Laura Kuchnicki, 3602 Aberdeen Ave., Alton, IL, 62oo2

That's All, Folks!