The Intriguing Possibility of the Unknown

So you may not be surprised to hear that someone wants to set me up on a blind date. I heard once that you know what your friends really think of you by the kind of person they set you up with. This has not been an uncommon occurrence in my lifetime and so far, the results have all been the same: stunning unsuccess. It seems that many people think they know someone “just perfect” for me (or vice versa)…but when it comes time for the two “perfect” people to meet and fall madly in love, something goes terribly awry. The reason I always agree, though, is because I cannot begin to claim that I am more successful if left to my own devices. Usually I go for the most unlikely candidate possible, and then am unrealistically disappointed that it doesn’t work. Let me give you some examples:

In college I dated someone 13 years older than me. We were generationally incompatible, it turns out, and though we have revisited the subject a couple different times, this past episode {post 12.29.05} has proven to me that we are altogether incompatible to be mates of any other kind than the Australian version.

I also dated a farmer 10 years older than me. He was (and is) a really decent, nice, caring, cute person. He was very sweet to me, and won me over by secretly picking peonies from his yard and putting them in my car whenever I would come to his house for “game night” (which was, and is, every Monday night). My mom loved him (I think she could see a younger version of herself marrying him). I was attracted to him, but we had such different takes on life that I wasn’t sure we were compatible. In the end I screwed everything up by running away with no explanation at all (partially thanks to the above relationship- I just felt things weren’t over yet there). To this day I don’t think he has any idea what happened. I have often wondered if he would be interested in re-visiting the subject, but feel I treated him very badly (in my defense I was young) and I am sure he wouldn’t give me the time of day, although we do still talk from time to time.

There was the resident in the PICU who completely fooled me. He spent unreasonable amounts of time in whatever room I happened to be in, he was always talking to me, asking me whether I had seen this movie or been to that restaurant, etc. I didn’t even think anything of it until about half the unit kept asking me if we had something going on. He was smart, not bad looking, funny, ambitious, and culturally versed…I started thinking about pursuing it, was convinced he liked me (after the incessant prodding of half the unit), and before I could do anything someone in the unit approached him about me (while I was in earshot, no less!!). I heard him say, “Oh, she’s really nice, I’d be happy to have her number.” The girl gave him my number and he called promptly that evening to inform me that he was in the process of undergoing an arranged marriage. Hmmm. Either that is the most creative excuse I have ever heard, or I have some really bad luck.

These experiences have left me somewhat disillusioned with entrusting myself with the job of finding my own mate, and I have given up. I pretty much operate on the principle of “things will work out” and try not to think about it too much. So far that principle doesn’t work, but one can always be optimistic. Still, I cannot refuse the occasional blind date, at least just to see what my friends/co-workers really think of me.

I'm baaaaaaaaack!

I was taking a break from us for a while. You see, sometimes I need my personal space, but I don't have the heart to tell you that. You always take things so personally, and it really has nothing to do at all with you. It' s me. I just wanted to see how it felt to be free again, not burdened by all your unrealistic expectations. And you know what?

It sucked. I like you, you demanding, greedy fools. And I guess if I'm to judge by the little incessant "reminders" to update my page that I have gotten in person, via e-mail, via the cell phone and yes, even via the blog itself, someone other than me actually reads this stuff from time to time.

So here I am, at your service. Whatever shall we discuss first?

Would you know that stupid house at 202 Carolina Ave still isn't on the market? It's starting to make me mad. Maybe I should write a letter...

I have an appointment with a mortgage broker next week. I have to tell you something kind of funny though: I scheduled that day very carefully. My biggest fear is that the mortgage broker will take one look at my pittance of a salary and how much student loan debt I have and basically tell me that it's out of the question for me to own a house. So I scheduled myself to spend the early part of the day with an anesthesiologist at work so that I can console myself with thoughts of the $160,000+ a year I could make with only two more years of school (to be a CRNA).

By the way, the consulate in Chicago will be getting the first card from me shortly. Of course I'll be sure and keep you informed should I get any sort of reply.

My ailing Maddie Mae

Maddie was sick this morning...vomiting and diarrhea. She was so nervous that she'd messed in the house that she was beside herself. When I let her outside she puked and puked and wouldn't come in. Finally, after she was done I made a little bed for her on the front porch (which has wipable surfaces) and left a big bowl of water for her. She has been fine this evening so far so I'm hoping she's over whatever it was. It was a crummy feeling this morning, though, having to leave her (for work) when I wasn't sure what was going on with her or if she would be okay. Kids I can deal with...with dogs I am sort of lost. I mean, how do you even know for sure if they have a fever? I doubt she would appreciate me shoving a rectal thermometer in while she's puking...I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, though.

By the way, my brother told me recently that he and his wife are pregnant again with #2. Their first is only 7 months old, so it was sort of a surprise but I'm happy for them and my brother is obviously thrilled. So soon I'll have 3 nephews or 2 nephews and a niece, depending on which this turns out to be.

I'm kind of hoping it's a girl...it would be nice, since the other 2 are boys, but my main concern is just that it's healthy- ever since I've worked in the PICU and have seen the worst of the worst genetic anomalies, I have become VERY cautious in my hopes and wants. I guess it probably just comes with the territory, I don't know.

Anyway, the garden looked great when I checked it out before leaving town this weekend. everything is growing and looking good so far...let's keep our fingers crossed that this continues.