Happy New Year and All That Jazz

I am a big loser. I hate New Year's Eve. The two might be connected in some sort of important way, but I'll probably never know for sure. I don't really think of myself as a pessimist (with my misfortune, being pessimistic would surely have put me in my grave by now), but whenever this last day of the year arrives and I'm standing on the precipice of a fresh, new year, all I can think about are the mistakes I've made and all the things I didn't do that I should have, or that I really wanted to do but couldn't squeeze in. Have you ever thought about your life and just gotten overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff you'd like to do before you die? That's how I feel every single New Year's Eve. It's like a free-for-all rat race to pack it all in before you check out for good. It makes me nervous and apathetic all at the same time. And every year I tell myself there will be no resolution, but find myself making tiny little promises I know I won't keep (e.g.: tonight I found myself thinking, "this year I'm going to get involved in some kind of political organization"). But when I stop and think for a second, I know I've never kept a single New Year's resolution anyway. Have you? I'd be interested to hear from someone who actually has a little follow-through. I'm sure I would be very impressed. Maybe you would inspire me to keep a resolution of my own. Or maybe I could just resolve to keep yours (I mean, maybe you had a really good one or something). Maybe that's it. Maybe your resolutions are better than mine and this isn't my fault at all, I just need to pick better ones. If you don't mind, in the comments section under this post, leave me your past (successful) New Year's resolutions and I will pick one and make it mine. In the meantime, I am going to keep with my past New Years tradition and go to bed, wrap blankets around my head (so I don't know when midnight arrives) and fall asleep. Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Best/Worst of 2005 #9

#9 (Best): Being the maid of honor at Andrea's wedding.
Andrea and I have known each other since freshman year at Alton High School. We almost immediately became best friends, and spent the remaining 3 years of high school cracking each other up all day long, every day. There is just something about the two of us together that seems to invite humorous situations and mishaps. And although we all know it is probably mostly my fault that we get into such predicaments, I can always be sure that Andrea is wholeheartedly along for the ride. Like the day we were driving in Brentwood eating a bag of peanuts we'd bought at Soulard Market. I was so focused on cracking open my peanuts that I rear-ended someone at an intersection. It was hilarious (in part because no damage was done). Then five minutes later I did it again to another vehicle(still, no damage done). Andrea laughed and laughed and laughed. Had it been my mother in the car, it would have been a very stressful and unpleasant situation. With Andrea, it was just damn funny. And I won't even get started talking about our trips to Eminence, Missouri (one of which was filmed for posterity).
Anyway, being her maid of honor was cool because there had been a point in college (we started off as roommates) when we fought and then didn't talk for a while over something really stupid. But then we patched things up and were able to resume being every bit as close as we were before, so being in her wedding was sort of the culmination of our 11 year friendship.

Funny little side note: It's a good thing she never listens to me. The night we met Bill (her husband), I ended up getting so mad at him that I threw his hat at him and said a few choice words. I told her that he wasn't a good choice for her at all, and that she should date someone else. I couldn't have been more wrong. He's a great guy, but more importantly he's really good to her and I'm happy they chose to ignore me (and to Bill: I know I've said it before, but I'm really sorry I got so mad about your hat).

#9 (Worst): Finding I'd been waitlisted for the Italian masters program.
I doubt anyone needs me to say anything more about this. If so, please refer to post 12.19.05

Update: Another Christmas Victim Identified!!

It seems that word of the Christmas Massacre has gotten out, and the perpetrators have struck again. Below is a photo of the most recent victim that was sent to me via e-mail. This particular crime took place in Soulard in the St. Louis area, and apparently they have gotten bold enough to strike the house of a police officer (who has been so shaken by this incident that he eats, sleeps, and showers now in his bullet-proof vest). You'll note other differences as well between this slaying and the others; in particular, note the Van Gogh like manner in which the ear of the victim was removed. The ear was discovered later laying amidst a pile of oranges at Soulard's famous market. What this means has yet to be deciphered, but criminologists are working diligently to figure it out. If you have any clues, please contact me at the e-mail link to this post.


Name: Fernando (Snoopy's outcast spotless cousin)
Age: 22 (dog years)
Location: Originally from Metca, Mexico, he was visiting Snoopy in Soulard for the holidays
Occupation: VJ for 198.7 El Perro (very famous mexican station)

Fernando will be sadly missed by his loving family, who only recently accepted him back into the fold after he finally confessed that the disappearance of his spots was due not to some rare unidentifiable dermatologic disease, but instead to the overzealous use of Pablino's Skin Bleaching Crema in the hopes of winning the heart of Zaza Poodle.