The Intriguing Possibility of the Unknown

So you may not be surprised to hear that someone wants to set me up on a blind date. I heard once that you know what your friends really think of you by the kind of person they set you up with. This has not been an uncommon occurrence in my lifetime and so far, the results have all been the same: stunning unsuccess. It seems that many people think they know someone “just perfect” for me (or vice versa)…but when it comes time for the two “perfect” people to meet and fall madly in love, something goes terribly awry. The reason I always agree, though, is because I cannot begin to claim that I am more successful if left to my own devices. Usually I go for the most unlikely candidate possible, and then am unrealistically disappointed that it doesn’t work. Let me give you some examples:

In college I dated someone 13 years older than me. We were generationally incompatible, it turns out, and though we have revisited the subject a couple different times, this past episode {post 12.29.05} has proven to me that we are altogether incompatible to be mates of any other kind than the Australian version.

I also dated a farmer 10 years older than me. He was (and is) a really decent, nice, caring, cute person. He was very sweet to me, and won me over by secretly picking peonies from his yard and putting them in my car whenever I would come to his house for “game night” (which was, and is, every Monday night). My mom loved him (I think she could see a younger version of herself marrying him). I was attracted to him, but we had such different takes on life that I wasn’t sure we were compatible. In the end I screwed everything up by running away with no explanation at all (partially thanks to the above relationship- I just felt things weren’t over yet there). To this day I don’t think he has any idea what happened. I have often wondered if he would be interested in re-visiting the subject, but feel I treated him very badly (in my defense I was young) and I am sure he wouldn’t give me the time of day, although we do still talk from time to time.

There was the resident in the PICU who completely fooled me. He spent unreasonable amounts of time in whatever room I happened to be in, he was always talking to me, asking me whether I had seen this movie or been to that restaurant, etc. I didn’t even think anything of it until about half the unit kept asking me if we had something going on. He was smart, not bad looking, funny, ambitious, and culturally versed…I started thinking about pursuing it, was convinced he liked me (after the incessant prodding of half the unit), and before I could do anything someone in the unit approached him about me (while I was in earshot, no less!!). I heard him say, “Oh, she’s really nice, I’d be happy to have her number.” The girl gave him my number and he called promptly that evening to inform me that he was in the process of undergoing an arranged marriage. Hmmm. Either that is the most creative excuse I have ever heard, or I have some really bad luck.

These experiences have left me somewhat disillusioned with entrusting myself with the job of finding my own mate, and I have given up. I pretty much operate on the principle of “things will work out” and try not to think about it too much. So far that principle doesn’t work, but one can always be optimistic. Still, I cannot refuse the occasional blind date, at least just to see what my friends/co-workers really think of me.